First Day of School ~ Easing the Transition

“But Mommy, I’m ‘ascared’ to go to school.  I won’t know anybody there!”

“Daddy, I don’t know where to go potty at school!”

It’s that time of year, where the worries of your children and your own as a parent are at the forefront of our thoughts. It's a time of excitement for all and anxiety for some, as  you prepare to entrust your little ones to our BELA  Learning Team and we prepare to welcome your most precious little people! 

As Lisa Medoff reminds us in her article First Day of School, “separation anxiety is a very common problem for preschool children, especially during the first few weeks of school. You may also see some separation anxiety in children after an illness, a vacation, or even a long weekend, where they have become accustomed to being at home for a long period of time.”

Transitions of any type can be difficult with children this age, as their self regulation skills continue to mature. As  Dr. Stuart Shanker says in his book Self-Reg – How to Help your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle & Successfully Engage in Life, “Children… find it very hard to articulate what they’re feeling.  It is through their actions – or lack of action – that they show us.  Once we learn how to read their signals, there are effective steps we can take to help them manage their arousal.

As families and BELA staff work together to decrease the fear, or anxiety, children may be feeling as the beginning of an exciting year of learning is approaching, there are a number of strategies that we may utilize in order to provide support for your child, and to help you feel better prepared for this all important transition into the exciting world of early learning.  You are your child’s first, and most important teachers, and we are happy to collaborate with you to choose strategies that may support  your child.   From our previous experiences, we have selected some strategies you may find helpful in the weeks ahead. 

Transition stories:  We have posted on our website two transition stories, one for children who will be new to BELA and a second one for children who are returning to school after the break.  You are welcome to  add your child’s name to the story,  and the names of your child's classroom staff, once you have attended orientation and know  who your child’s teachers will be The story may be shared on the computer, or  by printing a copy for her/him to read with you and possibly revisit on their own.  These transition stories include pictures of the school  and we, and our families, have found that they go a long way towards helping children and parents feel more comfortable with this transition.

Comfort items: -  a favorite toy, blankie, family picture, or other item you know will increase your child’s comfort level, are welcome to join us at BELA.  Please talk to your child’s classroom staff in advance, so that they know the child has the item and it won’t be misplaced, or if it is in the child’s backpack, can be taken out if needed.  Usually these items ‘visit the classroom” with the child, for a few days of school, and then we begin the process of placing on a shelf ,or in a pocket (where blankie or puppy can watch them have fun). 

Pretty soon, the item will be placed in the child’s locker (just incase they need it) and before you know it, your child may decide that their comfort item can be left at home, to help take care of everything at home until they return.

We have also included an article by Lucy Schaeffer, “Goodbye Without Tears” in our Parent Orientation packages, which provides excellent strategies for ways to support your child during this transition time.

Every child is an individual, and will  make easier transitions to school each day when they feel comfortable in their learning environment.  Please feel welcome to share ideas  or strategies that may have helped in the past and might make this big step easier for your child and for you!

~ JR 
Jody Rutherford
Director of Education & Programming 

Little People, Big Message....(Kane)

My name is Kane and this is my message….

I have been going to preschool since I was 3 and “now I can write my name on my crafts, play happily and talk with my friends, sit on my spot, and listen to my teacher!

I have learned all about dinosaurs, community helpers, and being a bucket filler!” – Kane (age 4)

Kane is 4 years old and is off to Kindergarten in the fall. He is helping us reach out to the community to increase awareness of the importance of early learning. Here we share more of Kane’s message, from the viewpoint of his parents & teachers. 

“We registered Kane in preschool because we knew the sooner we started, the more likely we were to see big changes! We have a lot of family support for childcare, which is a dream, but it didn't give Kane any consistent opportunities for socialization with other children his age. We had to take a leap of faith in the people helping us that they knew what was best for our son and our family.

The biggest change we have seen since he started preschool is his ability to engage and communicate with others of all ages. When he started preschool he had very few words and was not at all comfortable being away from his grandparents or us. Slowly, but surely, the morning drop offs got easier and the words became more frequent. As he finishes his second year, Kane will say hello to anyone he meets, approach new friends in the community, and enjoys participating in a variety of activities. He loves running errands and going to his brother’s school or activities, instead of simply trying to tolerate them. He actively participates in lessons, clubs, and on teams. He shows great empathy towards other people and animals.  He is excellent at considering the emotions and feelings of others and has learned appropriate ways to respond to them.  He is absolutely a different boy than he was in the fall of 2013!

We are so proud of Kane for moving out of his comfort zone of being at home with parents or grandparents and absolutely thriving at BELA. He has made friends he often talks about and has learned many things about being a good member of a community. He has a colorful personality and has become so very much fun to be around!” – Amber & Jordy (Kane’s parents)

“According to the Early Development Instrument, used to collect data for the ECMap project, Social Competence means, ‘a child plays and gets along with others, is curious and likes to explore, respects adult authority and is able to control his own behavior’.  In Brooks & the County of Newell, 72.3% of Kindergarten children are developing appropriately, like Kane.  That still leaves 27.7% of our Kindergarten children experiencing difficulty in this area of development.”-   Jody Rutherford (Director of Education & Programming at BELA)

Social competence is developed through the introduction of routines and expectations. Staff in early childhood programs are able to support children as they develop self regulation (emotional control) skills. These social / emotional skills are difficult, if not impossible to learn without the context of a group setting with ones peers.  For more detailed information about these social and emotional skills you can refer to the posts “ The Unwritten Curriculum or Why Should I Send My Child to Preschool?”  and  "Emotions Among Preschoolers"  a post written by our own Mrs. Parenas. 

“ Kane's social competence has improved significantly over the course of the school year.  He is a curious boy who enjoys exploring new activities in the classroom with his peers.  He demonstrates self-control by expressing his emotions in an appropriate manner, as well as recognizing emotions in others. Kane respects his teachers and children in the room and is willing to help out when needed.  At BELA we continue to focus on character development and being a good 'bucket-filler' in order to prepare Kane and the rest of our students for Kindergarten.”- Marsha Blake 

(Kane's Preschool Teacher) 

"During the past two years, it has been my pleasure to get to know Kane. With tremendous support from his whole family, and our staff at BELA, he has progressed steadily in developing the early learning skills he will require for success in Kindergarten. One of the biggest areas of growth has been in his social competence skills, and now this bright eyed, happy little boy is ready and eager to experience further learning in Kindergarten this fall!" – Jody Rutherford 

(Director of Education & Programming at BELA)

 "We would recommend preschool to other parents because it is a perfect opportunity to stimulate a child's development in so many areas (gross and fine motor, language, socialization, behavior, etc.). Three and four year olds are capable of such incredibly accelerated learning and we think preschool is the best way to take advantage of that.  There are so many talented early childhood development experts in Brooks and we are so glad that we were able to have them help us maximize Kane's potential. We do believe parents are a child's most important teacher, but it sure was nice to have such excellent support along the way. It was lots of miles, pick-ups, drop offs, and meetings but we don't regret a single second of it. Seeing our son succeed is so worth it!” – Amber & Jordy (Kane’s parents)

As Amber & Jordy mentioned, we are fortunate to have so many wonderful programs and professionals in our community. Please see the list of resources below and feel free to reach out, to have questions or concerns about your child heard.  Additionally, if you are an early childhood program provider and would like to be included in related posts please contact me asap. 

Resources:

Brooks & County Immigration Services

www.bcis-brooks.ca

403.362.0404

Brooks Early Learning Academy

www.brooksearlylearning.ca

403.501.0019

Brooks Preschool

http://brookspreschool.com/

403.362.4828

Duchess Preschool

403.378.4557

Parents As Teachers

Grasslands Intervention Offices

403.362.8729 ext 116

SPEC Parent Link Center

http://spec.ab.ca/

403.362.5056

- CP

Emotions Among Preschoolers

Kristen, 4 years old, was with her Mom in a department store to buy diapers for her younger brother. A doll caught her attention, as they were about to pay. Kristen pulled her mom back to the aisle where she saw it.  Her Mom said, “You’ve got lots of them at home, let’s go.”  But Kristen refused to go and insisted on buying it. Her mom on the other hand was firm about not buying the doll.  Kristen, feeling frustrated yelled, “I don’t want to go!” then turned around and started to run away from her Mom.

Was her emotion valid? Was her reaction acceptable?

Frustration is an emotional reaction when a goal is blocked and is commonly related to anger.  Like adults, young children express emotions everyday and we witness a variety of these in a preschool setting. Joy, fear, anger, surprise, sadness and disgust are universal emotions, expressed similarly in all cultures and are already present at birth or in the early months (The Development of Children, 2009).  A person’s characteristic pattern of emotional reactions is a basic element of personality (A Child’s World, 2008). Children of Kristen’s age may use hitting, biting, or pushing as a way to solve conflicts. They simply don’t understand the difference between appropriate and inappropriate interactions yet.  Although 3-year-olds begin to understand the emotions they are feeling, they have very little control over them. If they feel something, they will likely act on it. This may mean snatching away a toy from another child if they want to play with it. They get upset when told to wait  for something they want to do right away. If they find something funny, they will laugh wildly. If they get excited, they will jump and yell uncontrollably. When children are extremely happy, they giggle almost endlessly and wrestle each other. If they feel sad or angry they will burst into tears.

As adults, we know how it feels to be frustrated or upset and we should know how to appropriately react or express such feelings. On the other hand, these feelings present special challenges to children’s self-regulation abilities. Between 2 to 6 years of age, children develop a number of strategies to help them keep their emotions under control (Grolnik, McMenamy  Kurowski, 1999, Saarni, 2007, Gross & Thompson, 2007). Emotional self-regulation helps children guide their behavior (Laible & Thompson, 1998) and contributes to their ability to get along with others (Denham,et al, 2005).

Emotional understanding becomes more complex with age. Preschoolers can talk about their feelings and often discern the feelings of others (Saarni, Mumme, & Campos, 1998). By about age 3, having acquired self-awareness plus a good deal of knowledge about their society’s accepted standards, rules and goals, children become better able to evaluate their own thoughts, plans and desires, and behaviour, against what is considered socially appropriate. This is when they develop self-conscious emotions such as embarrassment, empathy and envy, and the self-evaluative emotions of pride, guilt and shame.

What Can Adults Do to Help Preschoolers in Understanding, Regulating and Controlling their Emotions?

Parents, teachers, and other adults can help children understand and control their emotions (Havighurst, Harley, & Prior, 2004; Thompson, 2006; Thompson & Lagattuta, 2005). They can talk with children to help them cope with distress, sadness, anger, or guilt (highered.Mcgraw-hill.com). Shame, guilt and pride depend on internalization of parental standards of behaviour (A Child’s World, 2008).

Modelling appropriate behaviour is still the most effective way of showing kids how to respond appropriately. As noted by Berk and Shanker (2006), by watching adults handle their own feelings, preschoolers pick up strategies for regulating emotions. Warm, patient parents, who use verbal guidance to help children understand and control their feelings, including suggesting and explaining strategies, strengthen the child’s capacity to handle stress (Gottman, Katz & Hooven, 1997). In contrast, when parents rarely express positive emotion, dismiss their child’s feelings as unimportant, and have difficulty controlling their own anger and hostility, children have continuing problems managing their emotions,  that may seriously interfere with psychological adjustment (Calkins & Johnson, 1998; Eisenberg, et. Al, 2001; Gillion et al, 2002; Katz & Windecker-Nelson, 2004).

Accordingly, to be competent members of society, children must learn how to control their emotions in addition to controlling their thoughts and actions (The Development of Children, 2009).  In fact according to Dennis (2006), the ability to understand and regulate, or control one’s feelings is one of the key advances of early childhood.  The emerging ability to control emotions help the preschool-age child deal with the disappointments, frustrations, and injured feelings that are so common at this stage.

Clearly this is a complex topic that requires parents, caregivers and those who interact with a child on a regular basis to work together. Modelling behaviours, teaching strategies to help cope, as well as working on language with children to help them express their emotions are key to supporting the child and family and are of utmost importance at BELA

-Cecila Parenas